Trusting God with everything, including finances, can be one of the most difficult parts of a Christian’s walk with God. It’s not usually that hard for me, but a month ago our furnace died. It cost $1,950 to replace it, and we didn’t have the money. At all. I wrote an article the day it died. The day we were told that was how much it would cost. The day we realized that even if we depleted our savings entire, it still wouldn’t be enough.
I’m glad I did it then. The post mentions how it’s easy to discuss God’s provision in hind sight, once you already know how everything’s going to work out. I think it’s harder to write about it when it’s still fresh. When you don’t know the outcome. When you hope that God’s going to provide, even though seeds of doubt start trying to root themselves in your heart.
You hope that God won’t provide the furnace by racking up a ton of credit card debt. You hope God won’t provide by actually having you endure through a winter with no heat.
And you have to ask yourself: Even if this is how God’s going to provide, is it good enough?
Is God’s chosen form of provision good enough?
I had to ask myself that. Because here’s what happened:
The furnace guy’s company offered financing. We depleted our savings to pay off 50%, then we had 6 months to come up with the rest. We were prepared to try to ride it out until the tax check came in; things would have been really tight in January, but we thought we could do it. But that was it.
Am I okay with losing my tax check? We had plans for that tax check. Paying off our last student loan. Tucking some away into savings in case something happens (you know, like the furnace dying). We were counting on it.
But the miracle I was sort of hoping for when I wrote that article didn’t happen. No one showed up on my doorstep with a furnace that they accidentally bought two of, and they couldn’t return it to the store. Our furnace didn’t just suddenly decide to be 20 years younger.
And I honestly kind of had to wrestle with that. I was hoping for a big miracle for… for us, for this blog, for all of you people reading this. “Come on, God!” I thought, “What am I going to write?! No one wants to read that nothing happened! Singles of people are waiting with bated breath to read about the glorious miracle of dropping a furnace from an airplane, but the parachute somehow makes it land directly in our driveway!”
Is God’s form of provision good enough?
I wrestled through that. And then I counted my blessings. We could do it. Things would be tight, but we’d be okay. We had our daily bread, which God promises. He doesn’t promise a fireworks show to accompany said daily bread. And I needed to settle with that.
So I did. I was at peace with the way things were.
Just so you know, no one I know reads this blog. I don’t tell anyone about it, so no one knew our furnace broke. My husband (my Rock) asked me not to tell anyone because he didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to give us a bunch of money. I was fine with that. So no one knew.
We celebrated Christmas with my Rock’s family this past Saturday. It was a lovely Christmas, and the kids got lots of presents they were super-excited about. My grandfather in
love law asked to speak with us for a minute.
“Last year my investments did a little better than we expected them to,” he said to us, “and so I took a portion of the extra profits and gave it to (my Rock’s) parents. Well, again, this year the investments have done better than we expected again. So this year I decided to take some of the extra profits and give it to you guys. You can use it however you want, but this is just something extra for you.”
Isn’t he the sweetest?
Inside the envelope he gave us was a check for $2,000.
On the one hand, I sort of feel like in this instance, God was waiting for me to square with His provision, done His way. I needed to get my heart in a place that allowed God’s will to be done, and I needed to get out of my head expecting my will to be done.
Jesus had expectations placed on Him when he came to earth about being a king. His version of being a king ended up being way better than what they were thinking, right?
God’s plan is better than ours, but sometimes our plan sounds pretty exciting. And that’s okay, but I think my disappointment was out of line when God didn’t grant me the giant miracle I wanted (not to say all disappointment is bad, but mine was in this case).
Then when I got my head and my heart in the right place about it, it was like He said, “Just trust me, okay?”
Then He gave me my miracle anyway. Just cuz He wanted to.
I almost hesitate to write about that. God’s not a slot machine. Relationships with Him aren’t transactional (I’m still working through this on a whole different level). You can’t put in a quarter and then get your prize. You can’t order from Him like you’re at a restaurant or like you found Him in a genie’s lamp.
And I don’t want you to think that I am in any way saying that if you accept His will, then He’ll grant you lots of money… (though if that’s what you’re thinking, then you kinda still haven’t accepted His will…. but that’s neither here nor there). That’s not how it works. You can’t control God or make Him do anything.
You can ask. You can expect Him to keep His promises, like that He’ll make all things work together for the good of those who love Him (check out Romans).
I’m glad that God used this as an opportunity to work on my heart a little more. Trusting HIS choice of provision. It’s simple. Do I have my daily bread? (Not my bread for two weeks or even a month, but just enough for today.) And do I honestly consider that to be enough?
Now, admittedly (I have no problem being super transparent about my sinful nature), God has to work on my heart even more because my Rock’s first response was to give away 10% of it as a love offering.
And I don’t want to because I’m selfish.
But YAY! God has another opportunity to work on my heart (and my willful submission to my husband’s spiritual leading), and I consider it pure joy to go through these trials, because these trials will produce… well, lots of good stuff (check out the book of James).
I love hearing about other ways God answers prayers in ways you don’t expect, so please tell me your stories in the comments below!
Thanks for reading!